HELPING

This text is quite an emotional rollercoaster but if you keep following it, it will take you to a beautiful place. I wish it leaves you - at least at the end - splashed with gratitude and new direction of awareness. Today I was on a bus station where so many life stories cross into one big node full of different people, romance, hardly said goodbyes and solo travellers that want to see more of the world. I find so fascinating what these places can do. You can meet the whole world represented by people on one point, it’s a magical place (i’m acknowledging, however, those who have anxiety from travelling, sending power and courage to go despite of how you feel). When I sit in a café on these places and do my usual people watch session (amazing activity), I see so many joyful faces that meet their loved ones. I smile.

There are, however, stories from other side. Stories, that make me feel sad, priviledged, and leave me with mixed emotions. All people that are running away from their country, compeletely alone, sometimes don’t speak the language, no one understands them and unless they can figure things out from context, they’re stuck to translator in their phones, surviving. Or mother saying goodbye to her son, because he needs to go fight for his country and she isn’t really sure whether it’s not the last time she is hugging him. Things i saw today set me up for a good hour of crying. Maybe I’m too sensitive, but it’s different when you see it in real life. I believe we need to develop a certain ignorance about all the things that are happening otherwise we would be all in tears constantly. These emotions can be, especially for hyper empathic people, confusing - you want to help or be there for them as someone that lifts them up, but you’re dragged down from the feelings they have, because it’s very easy to put yourself in shoes of others. Lot of times I didn’t know how to deal with these types of feelings and emotions. It usually got only worse when I tried “not to think about it” - to surpress them - my intrusive thoughts would get pretty wild….I needed to paint a big fat red cross on all of them (this is not a metaphor) because i didn’t know how to stop them, if you are someone who experieces that, know that you are not alone. And also, If you are the person who would love to be saviour of all, I have a very obvious reality check for you - this is quite challenging goal to accomplish and you would need to devote your whole life only this one thing. Which, i mean - feel free, it is a very noble move! however for more of a “I have a family to feed and dreams to chase” type of people, I have this solution. Try to change your trajectory of focus - from despair and feeling sorry for somebody (very weak position) - into way stronger state of being honest gratitude - not gratitude for the things that are happening, but for the things YOU happen to have. But…gratitude? In such a situation? Isn’t that compeletely selfish?…Maybe! But aren’t you feeling way stronger when you are in a state of gratitude for the things you have? Aren’t you feeling way more abundant, and therefore, ready to give others? Whereas if you compare it with the feeling of total despair. Without further explanation It might seem even enadequate to force oneself to feel grateful, but you need to put yourself in a position where you are able to deal with other sad emotions. And remember another very self-explanatory fact - you can only give, what you have. And if you’re taking and developing for too long the dispear from those who suffer, you’ll only have more dispear to offer. It’s very natural to feel the sadness and show empathy, it’s needed! However, what I am saying is - don’t drown in it. You are in priviledged place of a lifeguard who has his feet on dry floor, by pulling the one who’s in need (financially, emotionally..) you need to make sure you stand still on your feet and have established a good base of gratitude . Only after can you give hand to those drowning. What this reminds me of? If you’re not currently thinking about the “put your oxygen mask first before helping others” you should probably book a flight. If you find the strength in yourself and remind yourself of what you have, then you are ready to give the help to others in need. Only the fact that you can read this text in peace is such a blessing others weren’t given. You can see colours with your beautiful eyes, you have so many things others would give so much to have. There are many things about this world that don’t make sense, but there are so many things that clearly have its meaning. So focus on things you understand so that you can navigate easier through the moments where your emotions are mixed but you still want to be of service to others. With this said, I believe we are touching the finish line. I hope you will from time to time give your change to the people who need it once you leave the supermarket, i hope you will remind yourself from time to time that having a roof over your head, food in the fridge and someone you can hug is at the end of day, the greatest wealth. And that feeling gratitude for the things you have before you help others, isn’t selfish act, it is the necessary one.

With love

Meda ❤️