ALLOW
Sometimes it’s about the lines you draw around yourself. Sometimes it’s about watching someone else draw lines around you. But it’s always about stepping over these lines despite your bpm might be well over 150 and allowing yourself to try something new, to go somewhere else. Allowing yourself to “not know” before you do. Allowing things to happen as you go and trusting that it’s all done the best way tailored exactly for you. To release the need to control any outcome. To believe. Control needs less faith than allowing. That’s why you see rules everywhere. But we don’t need them when it comes to personal accomplishments, there are things that don’t quite fall in the span of our power. Feeling that you should control something is just a source of stress which is known for making outcomes worse than better.
If you look closer, there are some lines, tiny ones that will first seem very harmless. Pay special attention to them as they could be the ones appearing inconspicuous but making your world a self-sabotage paradise. Examples? “You’re never enough. There’s already too many people that do what you’re thinking of doing. What would you do in a country where you can’t even speak their language? We’re not millionaires. Stop running. Stop dancing. Calm down. Stop laughing. You’re too dark. You’re too big, too small, it’s better when you don’t risk anything.….” All these lines that could have been said to you were automatically drawn around you. If you don’t acknowledge them, and don’t acknowledge the way it made you feel, they can be managing your decisions, behaviour, self talk - without you realising it. Some lines are just li(n)es. What’s an awesome thing tho? All it takes is to notice them and you’re already halfway on your path of crossing them.There’s so many of them. Some lines could be well embedded from your childhood. Certain lines seemed to be quite normal. But as you see the world from different angles, you realise it was something disordered. Lines that feel rather like a wall than just drawing on the floor. Lines that feel shameful to cross. Lines that will make certain people sad or disappointed if you cross them. But you will never satisfy the whole audience by your next step and you’ll always let down someone. So make sure you’re letting down the “right” people. Why to cross these lines if I let down someone, feel uncomfortable or scared? That’s a fantastic question. We’re going back to the one and only sentence - By every choice you say “no” to other potential choices. You can make the choice of stepping over your lines and in short term feel the uncomfortable state you’re in, or you can stay the same and feel uncomfortable longterm as you stay on one place. You choose. And if you make the choice of going further, you need to allow anything to come and go with it. And that’s why the decision of allowing is so powerful. You will feel all these emotions, but you no longer hold any tension and needed outcome about it. You just allow everything come and go.You allow outcome that should happen, happen.
And this process requires a great belief and trust in your own self. How would you feel about your friend that you borrow your car? Let’s suppose this car has a great value to you. You might feel a slight tension, be scared about borrowing it to anyone but you trust your friend so much that you let him use something so valuable like your car. You can’t have the need to control anything. You would just let your friend know that you don’t really trust them. The same approach is required for your inner trust when going to unknown places. You can’t afford to have doubts about any step you’re making. You either go there or fix your beliefs and only then go ahead. You can be scared, but you can’t lack the trust and faith. Like with that friend, you let yourself go to the driver’s seat, trusting you’ll end up on a better place. You let yourself go over these lines with no direction anymore, for a while, into pure nothingness. And that “while” feels very uncomfortable, you might loose some friends, get nothing like “compensation”, but this doesn’t make you go back, because you trust your own self and where you’re going even though you have probably no idea whether it’s the right direction and how it will end up. You don’t know what kind of problems will arise but you trust yourself you’ll solve them always. And like this you find yourself in new situations, new environments, facing new challenges and new circle of people that you wouldn’t find if you haven’t allowed yourself to step over these lines.
If this feels like an idea you can’t grasp yet, imagine staying in the same country your whole life, because someone in your childhood once said that “this is the right way and the outside world is just too unpredictable. Here we’re good. Safe.” and by saying it the person has automatically drawn a line around you, in case of country on the map, literally. And you might not realise this, but you go about your life and make desicions that make you stay in your country. But what if you took that job in UK and literally “crossed the line”? What would happen next? You would feel lonely, you would automatically let down some people by leaving, you would feel very unconformtable and lonely at first. But after a while, with no other choice, you would need to start socialize and meet circle of people, just like that, you would create a network of new people some of which could change your life, you never know. You would be introduced to new ideas, new ways of living and you would find there new “you” because in situations where you don’t have a choice but to find a solution you develop your confidence, and therefore the trust in you gets greater. Like this it gets easier to allow yourself to cross more lines and it all creates this beautiful snowball effect. That’s why lots of people from different countries are suddenly successful when they move in to another country. It’s those moments of “I don’t have any other choice than to make this sh.. work” when they find their real potential.
And this doesn’t apply to turning your whole life around and moving out to another country. This applies to anything that just doesn’t feel quite right to you. You want to speak up in front of your boss even tho everyone says he would fire you for that? You might be surprised how he would respond if you use kind and respectful tone. There’s nothing like getting a constructive feedback from a respectful employee, maybe there just hasn’t been a person that could show him the respect he requires. You want to decline your invitation to a family gathering that “everyone needs to be part of” and go on a dinner with your date? Allow yourself to do these things that feel like “HELL YES” and decline stuff that feel like “meh” and try to be deaf and blind to anyone that has problem with it. Because no one sees things like you do. And you don’t see things like they do. So respect them, but protect your peace and passions. Allow yourself to be seen as you try new things because you never know who could be inspired by you, those who understand what it’s like to try, won’t laugh and those who do nothing can laugh their a.. off. Allow yourself to be bad first in thing that feels like it’s something you could put you whole life in it. Allow yourself to be disliked because only after you know you’ve done something disruptive. Allow and let go. Things that are right for you, will come to you. Things that don’t belong to you will leave. And it’s all alright.
Take care ❤️
