Why Slowing Down Feels Worse Than Working
Hey dear, today I got for you a topic still very close to my own experience - the hard time to slow down and be okay with that. There’s a moment most high-achievers recognize instantly. When you finally pause — you close your laptop, sit on the couch, or decide to take a break — instead of feeling relaxed, you feel… uncomfortable.
Your mind starts spinning, old thoughts and feelings show up, your chest feels tight and you suddenly want to get back to work because that feels easier than sitting with whatever this is.
This doesn’t mean you’re doing the “wind down” wrong.
It means your body is giving you information.
Let’s look into that.
I. The Real Reason Stillness Feels Unsafe
Your nervous system loooves structure so much. It loves knowing what’s next. It loves predictability.
And well…work provides all of that…Stillness, for some of us, still doesn’t.
Stillness opens space — and sometimes that space gets filled with thoughts or emotions you didn’t want to look at.
For a lot of people, especially high-achievers, slowing down wasn’t something they learned to feel safe in. As kids or teens, they were praised for being productive, responsible, or “on top of things.” Meaning: doing things made them feel valued. Rest didn’t.
So as adults, the body still reacts the same way.
Movement feels safe.
Stillness feels like it’s decreasing our worth and on top of that, our nervous system isn’t used to facing our emotions and feelings…yet:)
II. When Productivity Becomes Emotional Protection
There’s a moment when work stops being about progress…
and becomes a way to avoid dealing with how you feel.
Work becomes the thing you use to stay busy so you don’t have to sit with discomfort.
Not that you’d want to escape life — but no one taught you how to sit with yourself without a task to focus on.
Being busy becomes emotional protection:
It keeps your mind quiet.
It gives you something to control.
It creates a predictable routine.
It stops uncomfortable emotions from coming up.
And honestly?
It works… until it doesn’t.
III. What’s Actually Under the Discomfort
When you slow down and suddenly feel uneasy, it’s usually because something underneath needs your attention.
Typical things that come up:
“I’m not fulfilled.”
“I don’t feel like myself anymore.”
“I’m exhausted.”
“I don’t know what I actually want.”
“I’m scared to choose wrong.”
“My life looks good, but it doesn’t feel good.”
And honestly, just the fact that you’re noticing these thoughts… I seriously ask you to give yourself credit for this. It’s awareness what you’re experiencing and that’s the first step to the shift. You’re noticing the gap between the life you’ve built and the life that actually fits you.
IV. The Alignment Shift
The goal isn’t to suddenly love slowing down.
The goal is to feel safer while slowing down.
That’s where alignment starts.
Most people try to force rest, force meditation, or force stillness — but your body doesn’t respond well to force. It responds to understanding.
Once you understand why slowing down feels uncomfortable, the pressure decreases automatically. You stop fighting yourself.
Awareness always comes before change.
V. One Practice to Try
Next time you pause and feel that rush of discomfort, try this:
1. Pause for 1 minute — not longer.
Just one.
2. Put your hand on your chest.
It grounds your nervous system.
3. Ask quietly:
"What feeling is trying to reach me right now?"
and just…just notice. It’s a form of observation and meditation.
You don’t have to go deeper than that.
This tiny moment of awareness slowly teaches your body that stillness isn’t a threat.
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If slowing down feels harder than working, there is nothing “wrong” with you. You just learned to feel safe through action — and now your system doesn’t know what to do when the action stops. This is the exact kind of inner work we do inside The Alignment Society: helping high-achievers understand themselves, feel safe in their own minds, and finally build a life that actually feels good on the inside.
You don’t have to force anything.
You just have to start noticing.
That’s where coming back to yourself begins.
let me know how if you’ve ever experienced anything similar and what helped you!
Talk to you soon,
Stay awesome 💛
E.
